The Crucible Post II.

In all honesty, in some cases I would lie to protect myself. We all can't but feel harmed when we know that something could be hurtful to us. We also feel secretive and want to keep those secrets to ourselves. I know that in hard times I have lied and I am not proud of it. Looking back, however, they were such silly things to avoid. It was a big deal to many others though which drove me to lie in the first place. If I was looking at how I am living my life today, I would not lie as much to do so. It is almost pointless now to lie and protect myself. I am who I am and I should not be afraid of what other people think of me. Deep down, even though I do not like to admit it, I still do care but not as much. In the Crucible, the people had no other choice but to lie. It was either lie to save yourself or die trying to defend yourself.

Back in middle school, I wasn't the most popular kid so it was hard to defend myself. I had a speech problem also which many people teased me for. To make myself seem less of a target for people, I also did tease along with other people. It was not a good feeling to have to see the face of the person being laughed at. It was almost heartbreaking because I knew that the more people teased someone, the weaker that person got.  I didn't take that into account back then because all I cared about was myself not being made fun of. Now I have realized that many people make fun of others to feel better about themselves. I don't mind as much now if people constantly make fun of me.  It is just a cry for attention and to satisfy their hunger of power over someone, so why give in?  All I know is that if they are making fun of me, then they are leaving someone else alone.